Do You Recognize Jealousy?

Did you ever leave a party, conference, or networking function and had someone who immediately set off warning bells in your head?  

They said something that just didn't sit right with you.  

It could have been their timing, or was it what they said? 

I have had this happen to me a few times that had me scratching my head and wondering why.

I'm a researcher.  I need to know why.  Not dig in deep about the person but the psychology of the behavior is what I love.  What I have found is jealousy and envy is sometimes the reason for the behavior.

Jealousy and envy are highly related.  They are the result of the toxic combination of anxiety-based insecurity, anger, and an obsession with comparing oneself to others (often very poorly)

Jealousy appears when an individual has a desire for what another person has.

Jealous people…

• Will act overly supportive and giving you insincere compliments.  
• Are excellent copycats.  Yes, psychologists do believe that copycat behavior is often a sign of flattery and I choose to have this mindset.
• They will drown out your achievements by overemphasizing their own.
• They will deliberately give bad advice.
• Will try to ruin your reputation by spreading false rumors or negative comments.  
• They can be very competitive.
• They will criticize you.  An average person will drop some criticism at you at some point, but jealous people will make a career out of it.
• They will celebrate your failures.
• They are great at spoiling your plans.  They are the ones who will tell you that it's going to rain if you have an upcoming event.
• They will humiliate you in front of other people and try to downplay your achievements.  They will even diminish your speech if they speak after you.
• They are almost absent during moments of your success.  A jealous person will give excuses for why they can't attend your party or function.

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Jealousy is an emotion that we all experience, some more than others.  It is a natural human feeling, and, in little doses, jealousy isn't something we should be overly ashamed about. 

​If we utilize this emotion positively it can make us re-evaluate our lives and find out exactly why we are experiencing these feelings.  It can make us find out about what it is that we are actually missing that is making us feel this way about someone else.

Now there is a big difference between experiencing feelings of jealousy occasionally and being an inherently jealous person.

If you find someone's behavior exhausting and think it could be jealousy, look out for the signs I listed above.  Once you recognize the signs this should help protect yourself better.